I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
