look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
we're so committed to being not committed
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
