I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
