I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize