Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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