my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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