May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
