That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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