we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
