I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize