My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My cat gives me a boner
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
