Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize