Just fell off a train. Bad.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
