My hand turned me down
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
