just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize