How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
