Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize