GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
