I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
