Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Randomize
