put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
