He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just had sex on a roof
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
