im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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