tonight lets celebrate not being married
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
