Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
