he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
