Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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