Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
