Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
