turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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