You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
