My hand turned me down
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
