this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
