Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
