do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
