Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he thought i was a dude.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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