I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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