No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
