It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
