i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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