I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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