dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
They have beer where we have blood.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
