New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
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