TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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