We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize