Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
