Acid is not a monday night drug
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
