Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
