I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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