Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
