just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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