I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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