I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
