I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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