even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
