man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
