bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
this will be a night to untag.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
