Just fell off a train. Bad.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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