you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
