i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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